CWTCH [kʊtʃ] noun
Finding a sense of home and safety within the embrace of another person.
Today marks a year since we left. In a way, it feels like it was just yesterday, but at the same time, everyday life in Denmark seems like a distant dream. We gave up our habits, the security, and the daily routines to instead throw ourselves into the unknown. A whole year on the move has given rise to reflection. Did we make the right choice when we decided to leave Denmark? The answer is a resounding YES!
First impressions
One year ago, we sat on the train heading to the airport with a lump in our throats. We had just given our final goodbye hugs to our parents, and we sat in silence. It had been a tearful farewell, and it had moved us both deeply. Our decision affected not only ourselves but also all the people in our lives. Now it was serious, and it took a while before the butterflies took over again.
When we landed in Barbados many hours later, it had turned to evening. The trip from the airport to our Airbnb was long and led us out into the middle of nowhere. The road was potholed, everything was dark, and there wasn’t a soul in sight. It felt as if we were miles from the city, and it didn’t remotely resemble the Caribbean paradise we had hoped for. Oh, and then there was a strange smell. We both went to sleep with a weird feeling of, well, homesickness.
The next day, we woke up among the rustling sugar canes, with a view of the azure Caribbean Sea on the horizon. In the backyard lay an old sugar mill, and the pool tempted us with a cooling dip. Maybe Barbados was the paradise we had imagined after all. Just in a slightly different and unexpected way.
Barbados will undoubtly always hold a special place in our hearts. Both the locals and the countless newcomers took us under their wings and showed us what kindness means. We made lifelong friendships and got not just a glimpse of everyday life, but also became a part of it. Even after a year, we still receive messages from the local police officer who, after many years of service, chose to become a chicken farmer.
What's the worst that can happen?
The question ‘What’s the worst that can happen?’ weighed heavily on me. I’ve been a safety addict all my life, and even though I’ve pushed some boundaries, it was always with a solid safety net underneath me. Setting out without knowing what tomorrow brings, whether there’s even hot water in the shower, and if there’s a reliable mobile network, was a chaos I pushed to the back of my mind.
But what was the worst that could happen? We were in for a rude awakening when we discovered that the cost of living in Barbados was actually higher than in Denmark. Groceries were insanely expensive because everything had to be imported to the small island. At the same time, we were not yet adept in our new lifestyle, so we filled the shopping cart with the same items as if we had been on a trip to the local store back in Denmark. Had we had the experience we have today, we are sure that our economy in Barbados would have looked completely different.
The first real challenge came after six months. We had been on summer vacation in Denmark and were on our way to the Emirates. The tickets were bought at the last minute, and everything went smoothly. We had a layover in Vienna with all our luggage intact, but when we arrived in Abu Dhabi, we were missing a suitcase. It was half of all our belongings, and they had vanished without a trace. Rasmus was turning 29 the following day, and his birthday present was in the lost luggage as well. I could feel the panic taking over. Thankfully, Rasmus kept a cool head, and it was actually primarily his belongings that were gone.
Even after so many months, we are still fighting with the airline. We have studied EU legislation extensively and have been in contact with various official bodies. It might sound like a nightmare, but overall, we have actually learned a lot. I initially perceived the whole episode as a huge defeat. In reality, I have learned that material things can be replaced, and it’s pointless to fret so much over something I have no control over.
What have we learned?
When we set out, we were more than ready to truly live life. We wanted to explore what the world had to offer. It was not an escape, but a journey of education. We have learned so much about ourselves, each other, and the world. Sometimes we joke that our lifestyle is the IKEA test on speed. If a relationship can survive being together 24/7 and pushing the reset button every single month, then it must be able to survive anything.
We have indeed clashed with each other to a significant degree. When everything else is foreign, it is important to work as a team. And when you are together every minute of every day, it is important to give each other space. It has at times been difficult to balance, especially when both of us have undergone a major individual transformation. Here, a year after our departure, we have never been closer.
Traveling the way we do and constantly being presented with new cultures, one cannot help but leave a lot of prejudices behind. Prejudices come from ignorance, and often you only see the truth when it’s right in front of you. I have often been asked if, as a woman, it was unsafe to walk alone in the Middle East, but in reality, I have rarely felt as safe on the street as I did when we were in the Emirates. At the same time, we have not been harassed even once in Guatemala City, even though most travel guides say to stay far away.
We are happier, we are more tolerant, we are curious, and we are open-minded. We have also learned to make do. All that extra stuff we had in Denmark was nothing but clutter. Even after a year our possessions still consist of only three suitcases, which have even become lighter in weight. On the other hand, we have discovered that we really appreciate our coffee. Therefore, we have added both instant coffee, an espresso pot, and an Aeropress to our arsenal, so we are well-prepared when the coffee thirst strikes.
Friends without borders
Our world has expanded significantly. We have made friends and acquaintances all over the world. After several years where many of our relationships arose through school and work, we now primarily meet people based on interests and lifestyle. We’ve encountered like-minded nomads, diving enthusiasts, and volcano hunters. Personalities clicked, and reunions were immediately planned even after a very short time together.
Distance is no longer a barrier. Sometimes we look back on how we felt about distance when we lived in Denmark. It seems utterly absurd that a three hour trainride from one end of the country to the other once seemed insurmountable. About a month ago, we traveled to the US to attend a wedding, and this summer, we are going to Devon (Soth West England) to visit a couple of friends we met in a water park in Abu Dhabi. Moreover, we have an open invitation in Dubai, which we definitely need to take advantage of before the year is out.
With a long list of new friends, it’s also important to mention the “old” ones in Denmark. When we toured the country during summer and Christmas, it was as if time had stood still. We are truly grateful to have such strong friendships that thrives as the physical distance grows. Some bonds have even become stronger.
When will you come home?
When will we then return to Denmark to settle down? As it looks now, it’s not something we see happening in the near future. When people ask us, it is often phrased: ‘When are you coming home?’ This has made us think about the term ‘home’ and what it means to us.
For us, home is not necessarily Denmark. We no longer see it as coming home when we visit Denmark. For us, home is wherever we are in the world. For me, home is where Rasmus is. It can be in an apartment in Mexico, on an air mattress in Denmark, or in a hotel room in Dubai. We no longer feel that home should be defined as something material, but rather as a feeling.
I’ve come across the word ‘cwtch’. The expression originates from Wales and is one of those words that cannot be directly translated, similar to the Danish ‘hygge’. The word covers a very special form of embrace that gives the feeling of being home. This hug is a safe haven where one can feel secure, loved, and understood. The gesture is deeply rooted in Welsh culture and is used to express affection, comfort, and support in a way that goes beyond the physical. Cwtch is home in a way that brick walls are not.
